November 8, 2011

The Creepiest Thing EVER

On Halloween weekend, something happened.  I went on a morning walk (a walk that consisted mostly of me contemplating why I didn't challenge the other four girls dressed as the Black Swan to a dance-off at the party I went to the night before) when suddenly something came slowly rolling down the middle of the hilly street I was walking up.  I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and squinted into the sun as the object rolled down the hill closer to me.  Then I realized what the object was as it slowly lumbered down the hill, wobbling back and forth.  It was a BABY CARRIAGE.  WHAT!??!?!  And not just any baby carriage - it was an old school, from 100 years ago, probably haunted, giant wheeled, black baby carriage.  I walked into the street as it came near because my first thought was, "Is there a haunted baby in this baby carriage? If so, I can rescue it and it probably won't haunt me in return."  But I could see quite clearly that the creeping, stealthy baby carriage was completely empty.  

As soon as I realized there was no haunted baby or anything else that needed saving within the carriage,  I ran back to the sidewalk and hid behind a tree.  Because haunted carriages can't see through trees.  I watched as it neared the end of the hill and slowed to a stop, violently rocking back and forth as it hit some rocks.  I imagined it turning around slowly and then heading back toward me, maybe with eerie smoke or fog coming out of it, but instead it rocked too far to the right in the rocks at the bottom of the hill and fell over.  It did not comfort me that it fell over in front of the house that had creepy lit up crystals planted in its front yard.  The crystals are green and they look like Kryptonite and that is never okay.  

And then, a homeless man, who had also been watching this occurrence behind a tree (he must know the tree invincibility rule about haunted carriages too), walked up to the carriage, poked at it with a stick, and then proceeded to put it back on its giant wheels and roll it away like it was an old friend.  That man was much braver than I.  Seriously, where did that baby carriage come from?  SERIOUSLY.

So, next year for Halloween I've decided I will dress as that old baby carriage with giant wheels, because no one will have the same idea.  Or maybe I will dress as The Black Swan WITH the baby carriage, and all of the other Black Swans will be jealous.  But I will still challenge them to a dance-off.