Let me explain. As I exited the bar, a friend of a friend asked me if he could pick me up. Before I could respond, being a tiny person, I was picked up against my will and he promptly tripped, dropped me and accidentally kicked me. I had been punted. I fell to the pavement, bewildered that in one moment I was solidly on the ground, then up in the air, then punted. That was the day that I lost my innocence.
Now, I've been picked up in my day. I was always the kid who had to climb to the top of the pyramid, be lifted, or be thrown (as the smallest one in my class.) Trust falls, no problem, lemme at it. No one ever dropped me. I was not afraid. I was invincible. Until that fateful night.
I decided that my long run of trusting people who wanted to pick me up (which was everyone because everyone can) had come to an end. I would never be picked up again, and thus, never punted again.
Whenever someone started towards me with open arms, I knew what was coming, so I promptly sprinted away before any harm could come to me. I avoided thinking about the punting incident ever again.
Six years passed. Then one day at an audition, a guy approached me and said "Hey. Aren't you the girl I accidentally punted." I turned and sure enough, it was HIM. I stared at him in shock, and then he started towards me with arms wide open. I was too afraid to move. He was going to punt me again, I just knew it. And then, he embraced me. And he said, "I'm really sorry I did that."
It was as if a curse was broken. I grabbed his face and looked him in the eyes and said "Pick me up." We stared at each other for a long time, and then he awkwardly picked me up a few inches off the ground and returned me to the floor. Then I said the most important words anyone can say, "I love you. I mean. I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say. I forgive you." And I did forgive him. I was no longer mad at him for punting me. I was no longer afraid.
I guess sometimes you have to get punted. And when you do, you have to forgive and continue on. Fearless. And ready to be punted again if that's what it takes to move forward, unafraid.