August 10, 2014

Other People's Conversations: Part 1

I've been doing things by myself a lot lately, as sort of an exploration piece for my blog.  In other words, I am using my writing project as an excuse to be a loser, which I would be doing anyway with my life.  It makes it all sound better, and meaningful.

Even when I am dating, I crave my alone time, because I am a hermit-like creature that needs to recharge in solitude before I can face people.  I love people, but sometimes I wish I could just watch them, instead of participate in conversations with them.  

I find that by doing things by myself, I can do just that.  When I am alone it's as if I am invisible and people have no problem starting the most inappropriate conversations within my earshot.  It is wonderful.  Here is what I heard today when I was having lunch:

Let's rate each other 1-10 in bed.

Okay.  You're a 10!

Great.  You're a 3.


Let's stop right there.  I don't need to rehash the REST of the conversation because obviously it did not go well.  But what the hell was this?  WHAT HAPPENED HERE? WHAT?  Either that guy was trying to find a way to tell his girlfriend she is not good in bed in the most crass way possible OR, he's an idiot.  Or both.  Also, girlfriend needs to show a little bit of mystique.  Don't go straight for the 10.  Start off with a reasonable number to show some sort of disinterest. Like a 6.  Even if it truly is a 10, don't say it.  We all know the key to good dating is to NEVER show your true feelings and to keep enthusiasm to a minimum.  Get it together, LA couple.